Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Police Like a Samurai

  • A newly translated 19th-century book, written by samurai, describes martial arts techniques designed to help police officers of the time. The highly guarded practices included how to tie suspects up using paper string and fighting techniques that allowed officers to defeat suspects without killing them.
Sounds perfect!
  • The book, which contains illustrated instructions, was published in 1888, a time when the samurai class had lost many of its privileges and the formally secretive martial art schools that taught the samurai were willing to divulge their secrets.
Ropes instead of handcuffs. A primitive form of CPR taught to resuscitate drowning victims.

We won't mention the swordplay though.

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34 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not silly. Samurai martial arts techniques and a good night stick would be adequate for 90% of all 21st century police work. A very few firearms available for use by special officers only after release by the head of the CPD and the mayor or mayor's representative. If police do not have firearms, than criminals will not feel that they need to be armed with firearms.

4/27/2016 12:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

STAY FETAL , Get Rid Of Rahm , and his personally Appointed Bitches

4/27/2016 12:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We sword fight all the time in the locker room- best part of the work day!

4/27/2016 02:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe police are like modern day Samurai.

4/27/2016 03:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steal the peach!!!

4/27/2016 06:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting
Those kicks were fast as lightning
In fact, it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing

4/27/2016 06:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe CPD will use some old SNL skits with John Belushi as a training guide?

4/27/2016 06:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure there are instructions for falling on your sword after acting dishonorably. Forward that to 35th street and let the cleansing begin.

4/27/2016 07:23:00 AM  
Blogger The Keesing Bandit said...

I think I've participated in your locker room sword fights. 019 correct?

Now, kees me you fool!!!!

4/27/2016 07:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

12;08, that's sarcasm right?

4/27/2016 07:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You saw and heard it on the news. Boss says, use of taser vs. firearm is the right way to go.

4/27/2016 08:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the first poster,
You ain't silly you're stupid boy. Criminals will always carry firearms to rob, rape, and shoot people they don't like.

4/27/2016 10:34:00 AM  
Blogger The Song Remains The Same said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Not silly. Samurai martial arts techniques and a good night stick would be adequate for 90% of all 21st century police work. A very few firearms available for use by special officers only after release by the head of the CPD and the mayor or mayor's representative. If police do not have firearms, than criminals will not feel that they need to be armed with firearms.

4/27/2016 12:08:00 AM

I hope your last sentence was pure sarcasm!

4/27/2016 10:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One of the good things about the samurai culture was that they were allowed to chop the heads off of peasant troublemakers with few repercussions. That might solve some of the current issues plaguing the country?

4/27/2016 10:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chinese finger traps for everyone!

4/27/2016 10:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not suggesting they replace firearms, but issuing officers with swords as an additional weapon seems a sound idea. Imagine the crowd control possibilities of a screaming phalanx of sword-wielding coppers charging a recalcitrant crowd during the PR parade festivities in Humboldt Park!

4/27/2016 11:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know I'll feel safer when the police confront my perp with paper string. But it will save the City of Chicago some money in lawsuits filed by perps injured by nightsticks, Tasers and gunfire.

4/27/2016 12:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not silly. Samurai martial arts techniques and a good night stick would be adequate for 90% of all 21st century police work. A very few firearms available for use by special officers only after release by the head of the CPD and the mayor or mayor's representative. If police do not have firearms, than criminals will not feel that they need to be armed with firearms.


GO away you Troll... if you really believe that you are a liberal nut job. Good luck on being victimized.

4/27/2016 01:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Not silly. Samurai martial arts techniques and a good night stick would be adequate for 90% of all 21st century police work. A very few firearms available for use by special officers only after release by the head of the CPD and the mayor or mayor's representative. If police do not have firearms, than criminals will not feel that they need to be armed with firearms.

4/27/2016 12:08:00 AM

What...until before or after they realize they still need them to shoot at each other and hit licks on people? Last I checked criminals are armed with guns in England despite their police not being armed. Yeah I know, he's being sarcastic..but just in case.

4/27/2016 01:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just wait until Rahm and Rauner panic at the carnage this Summer.

My prognostication: About July 15 you are going to see the IL National Guard patrolling with M4s, M203s and Humvees with an M2 or Mk19 in the turret ring. The Black Lives Matter crew will s--t themselves sideways. But the blood will stop flowing, as the thugs are cowed. And about two weeks later, the candy ass politicians will disarm the Guard, except for their M9s. After the two weeks of quiet, the carnage returns.

4/27/2016 01:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This would be great, but in today's camera world you will be judges as wrong, then Eddie and his gold star club would be renting a movie theater "wheres my popcorn" and screening the latest videos, the old er the better with the news media and elected idiots looking to bitch slap,and suspend possibly criminally charge any working coppers like he is doing now! Coppers thought eddie was the "great black savior" but now it looks like he is the "great black devastator," ruining what is left of a wounded department.

4/27/2016 02:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Samurai swords would definitely round out any officer's kit.

4/27/2016 02:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not silly. Samurai martial arts techniques and a good night stick would be adequate for 90% of all 21st century police work. A very few firearms available for use by special officers only after release by the head of the CPD and the mayor or mayor's representative. If police do not have firearms, than criminals will not feel that they need to be armed with firearms.

4/27/2016 12:08:00

Yes, martial arts and a night stick will work for 90% of our work, but it's the 10% where it won't work that will kill you. It's also unfortunate that you don't know it's falling in the 10% category until it's too late. Your belief that the criminals are armed as a reaction to the police being armed is even more wrong.

4/27/2016 03:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I'm not mistaken, a police department in california was training its officers with nunchucks. Hopefully no one gets hurt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sW-6nMpbkc

4/27/2016 04:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being able to subdue an opponent without injuring them is one of the things I love about Judo and Jujitsu. You can use pain to gain compliance without actually injuring someone.

One of the black belts at my club demonstrated how to get someone out of a chair by placing one hand behind their head and the blade of the other hand under their nose and then lifting up. Your body naturally wants to move to avoid the pain; there is no resisting. Similar situation with taking someone down or walking them off using a wrist lock. Their body will automatically follow where you lead them.

4/27/2016 06:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm happy to see the Keesing Bandit is back. I thought He still had another week at that nude beach left.

4/27/2016 08:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If police do not have firearms, than criminals will not feel that they need to be armed with firearms.

ROTFLMAO! You can't be serious. Honestly, you engage in a fallacy - one in which you believe that a CRIMINAL will engage in fair play.

If they engaged in fair play, they would obey the law!

The only thing you can count on with a criminal is that they're not to be trusted - not one nanometer. Don't buy into the libtard narrative that if you don't have a gun the criminals won't find it necessary either - you're not responsible for any sort of escalation. You're responsible for ensure YOU go home at the EOS. And if you want to do that, make sure you have a gun.

4/27/2016 08:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

06:07
Everybody knows that!

4/27/2016 10:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some real martial arts training would be nice. Lets be honest if most POs had to go toe to toe in an alley with no back up against a real bad guy... it wont end well for you. No matter how much you puff your chest out or stare really hard.

4/28/2016 10:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Being able to subdue an opponent without injuring them is one of the things I love about Judo and Jujitsu. You can use pain to gain compliance without actually injuring someone.

One of the black belts at my club demonstrated how to get someone out of a chair by placing one hand behind their head and the blade of the other hand under their nose and then lifting up. Your body naturally wants to move to avoid the pain; there is no resisting. Similar situation with taking someone down or walking them off using a wrist lock. Their body will automatically follow where you lead them.

4/27/2016 06:07:00 PM

Fred degerberg...and belushi for that matter are no joke. Fred woulda fd up any copper in his prime

4/28/2016 10:46:00 AM  
Blogger 30 pending and what said...

https://youtu.be/yg6nWF-2HII

Future.police Training like a samurai. This kid new what the future held and was on top of it

4/28/2016 06:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Yes, martial arts and a night stick will work for 90% of our work, but it's the 10% where it won't work that will kill you. It's also unfortunate that you don't know it's falling in the 10% category until it's too late. Your belief that the criminals are armed as a reaction to the police being armed is even more wrong."

4/27/2016 03:24:00 PM

That's just our perennial troll. Ignore.

4/28/2016 11:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Chinese finger traps for everyone!"

4/27/2016 10:52:00 AM

AIEEEE!

I can't breathe!

POLICE BRUTALITY!

4/29/2016 09:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not silly. Samurai martial arts techniques and a good night stick would be adequate for 90% of all 21st century police work. A very few firearms available for use by special officers only after release by the head of the CPD and the mayor or mayor's representative. If police do not have firearms, than criminals will not feel that they need to be armed with firearms.



Is the above fucking moron who typed this serious?

4/29/2016 12:43:00 PM  

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